Loveless

Ronald Blythe’s statement in his introduction to the Death of Ivan Ilyich that “[Love] could have rescued Ivan Ilyich from all the fright and despair which terrorized him during the final two weeks had he allowed it to. . . Love masters death [only at the end],” intrigued me. It was not until I read this statement that I realized that Tolstoy does not use the word “love” or “loving” to describe any of Ivan Ilyich’s relationships. When he marries Praskovya Fedorovna it is not because he loves her but because she “came of a good family, was not bad-looking, had some little property,” and because she fell in love with him” (289). Indeed the narrator points out that “to say Ivan Ilyich married because he fell in love with Praskovya Fedorovna” would be incorrect (289). Nor does he grow to love his wife in the seventeen years they are married; instead he spends most of his time in the “fenced-off world of official duties” away from the unpleasantness of his marriage (290). In addition he views his son and daughter more as nuisances and added responsibilities instead of family to be loved. On his deathbed Ivan recalls his happy childhood, but does not reminisce about his love for his family. He only remembers a pleasant joy to which he wishes he could return. Ivan Ilyich’s life was most terrible not only because it was “most simple and most ordinary” but because it was conspicuously lacking in love (286).

The reader gets a taste of this lack of meaningful relationships in Ivan Ilyich’s life in the first chapter when his “nearest acquaintances” are more concerned with what promotions his death might occasion for them than his actual death (282). Tolstoy chooses his words carefully in this chapter. He describes Ivan Ilyich not as loved or respected by these men but rather “liked by all” (281). Indeed his description of Peter Ivanovich and Fedor Vasilievich as “nearest acquaintances” and not something more meaningful help the reader form initial impressions about the nature of the relationships in Ivan Ilyich’s life. I agree with Ronald Blythe’s statement that love could have rescued Ivan Ilyich in his final days however I do not believe that Ivan was ever aware of the absence of love in his life. In his final weeks, Ivan Ilyich does not want his family to show him love but rather honesty and pity. One of the reasons Ivan Ilyich enjoys Gerasim’s company is that the butler’s assistant recognizes that he is a dying man and does pretend otherwise. Ivan Ilyich resents his family and doctor because they refuse to confront his pending death. Another reason Ivan Ilyich enjoys Gerasim’s company is that he craves his pity. Ivan Ilyich wishes to be pitied “as a sick child is pitied” and once again does not grasp the fact that the suffering of a sick child would be eased with love (306). Because his life has been devoid of love, Ivan is unable to recognize his subconscious yearning for love in his final days.

In the end, it is his grieving son, who sneaks into the room in his father’s final moments, and demonstrates love in a simple gesture which convinces Ivan Ilyich that he can still rectify the mistakes in his life. He feels sorry for the boy and he tells his wife that he is sorry for both of them and to forgive him. He realizes that he must “act so as not to hurt them: release them and free himself from these sufferings” (316). So in his last moments, Ivan finally accepts the existence of love in his life and is able to embrace his death in peace. (618)